I'm feeling lonely...come soon

This, as any of you who have gone to training, is one of Bikram's songs from his CD, "Love". At the end of each class that Bikram teaches we listen to one of his musical creations. It's pretty hillarious. Mostly, you are so beat down from the class that you wouldn't even think of moving, so it gives us a nice, long final savasana (final resting pose). The music is pretty cheesey, but quintessential Bikram. A little sappy, but very genuine- completely from the heart. The truth is that he is really a caring person and he gives himself completely to us during the Teacher Trainings. Even when I am swearing at him in my head when he is about to show us a movie at midnight, or when he's calling someone out in the same color I am wearing ("Miss Blue, what the f*ck are you doing?"), I still really respect how much he gives us while we're here. He gives us his full attention (I, for example, zoned out for over half of the Half Moon recitations) and is totally present for US. It's pretty awesome.

This week's morning classes have been with Emmy and I kid you not when I say, this woman lives to kick our asses. Oh my good Lord, she doesn't mess around! She wanders around the room, so you never know where she is or when she's going to pounce on you. Even still, she is an amazing teacher with so much knowledge of this yoga and the proper execution, benefits, etc. Mostly, she's a 80+ year old, Latvian ass kicker. I don't usually practice in the mornings at home because I'm so stiff and it depresses me. Here I have no choice. Add the daily Emmy beat down to that and after morning class I am a bit low.

As with everything here, though, the next moment I am laughing hysterically with my friends, or finally fed and hydrated and feeling great again. The afternoon classes tend to wipe away the memory of your horrible morning class and leave you floating out of class and onto dinner. After that you have lecture and you fear the midnight showing of Bollywood films. It's a roller-coaster, but it's 100% amazing.

There are a few moms who have their kids here and whenever I see them, I miss Sadie so much. I talk to her everyday and she's doing great with Daddy & Razzy and me being here doing this on my own is such a rare opportunity. I'm so grateful.

All in all, I'm still doing OK. I miss home sometimes, I hate the lectures sometimes (the lecture tent is sweltering hot, the chairs are SO uncomfortable and we have to sign in and out to go to the bathroom), I have horrible yoga classes sometimes and other times I feel like I need to pinch myself because I still can't believe I'm here. I am trying to stay present for all of it!