Worst. Movie. Ever.

It's been a great couple of days. Yesterday we had a class with Rajashree in the am, Half Moon posture clinic with Bikram in the afternoon, class with Bikram and then...it happened. Evening lecture started off pretty good. Bikram was talking to us about Yogic philosophies, which have interested me since I was a teenager. I actually studied the Bhagavad Gita when I was 16, so I was enjoying his lecture on "What is Yoga? Everything is Yoga". Then things took a horrible turn for the worse. At 11:45pm he announced we would be watching a movie. Now he'd referenced the Mahabarata in his lecture, so I was actually sort of interested to watch it (not at 11:45pm mind you, but whatever, the subject interests me). Then he put on what may be considered the largest waste of film ever made. It was a 4 hour epic Bollywood film. It was dreadful. I laughed, I cried, but it was nowhere near as good as Cats. Honestly, it was the real torture chamber. Four hours of yoga in a hot room I am OK with. Sleep deprivation via horrendous Bollywood films? I'm out. I tried to relate the whole thing back to his last point of his lecture "whoever can take away your peace, you are the loser" and "it is the mind over the matter" but somehow when my alarm went off after only getting 4 hours of sleep, I wasn't really caring what the lesson was!

Today was class with Raj in the am where I literally screamed at her in my head until we got to Triangle. At that point I was able to settle into my yoga class, that was half way over. Seriously, ask anyone in that class- she must have done 20 of Pranayama deep breathing in the first set.

Afternoon was MORE Half Moon posture clinic followed by a nice class with Bikram.

I have eaten dinner and am heading to evening lecture. Please say a prayer that we won't be forced to watch movies tonight. I need sleeeeeeeep.

Having a great time, wish you were here

Wow. Today is Day 2 and I am having an amazing experience so far. Yesterday we had some wonderful lectures from Rajashree, Jim Kallett and Bikram. We are learning so much- even in the first day- about yoga, ourselves and this path of teaching this yoga. Last night we had our first class with Bikram- it was amazing. He is so engaging, compassionate and funny! I love his class, even if it was 2 hours long :) The good news after class that was that we didn't have an evening lecture (even though he threatened to keep us up till 4am). I came back to a home cooked dinner from my dad and the whole night off! I got to talk to Sadie and everything. Great day!

This morning we had class with Rajashree. She was a little tough on us, but she is so lovely you hardly mind :) After class we had our lunch break and I said goodbye to my dad. He was such an amazing help driving me out here, helping me get my computer situation taken care of, grocery shopping for me...what a hero.

After lunch we had the introduction lecture and the beginning of presenting Half Moon in front of Bikram and all 320 students. I had made up my mind that I was going to go the first day back in Boston, so when they announced where to line up I jumped right up and got in line. I was a little nervous. Some people he loved, some he didn't. He gave wonderful constructive criticisms and I think people really learned from them. I went about 20th or so. I really nailed it. His comment was some along the lines of "see how each person is getting better and better listening to the critiques. That was beautiful!" after I managed a sheepish "thank you" he said "where are you from?" and I told him Boston and Manchester. It was amazing! I was walking on air!

I just got back from my first double class ever. It was pretty good. I was definitely tired and a little stiff, but it was doable. I'm going to survive! Hurray! The yoga tent isn't quite as hot as I thought it would be, but I'm sure it will be soon, so I'm enjoying the cooler classes for now. I think it's a good way to get used to everything. You know, before they lower the boom and it's hot as blazes in there.

I'm now hammering this out as I eat some dinner and before we head over to the evening lecture. It could be a long night.

I am so happy to be staying at Desert Falls. There are a few of us here and we are becoming like a little community of our own. We ride our bikes over to the classes and lectures and we're getting to know eachother. So far this experience is far beyond anything I could have hoped. I am having an amazing time.

Stay tuned.

Day One

Today has just been an amazing day. My dad and I got on the road to Palm Desert around 8:30am and made great time (an hour and 45 minutes), got all settled into the condo and went out to take care of a few things.

First was getting a new operating system for my mom's OLD iBook. It was running a really old version of Mac X and wasn't compatible with anything on the entire internet, so we thought we could upgrade it with the newest software. After picking that up at Mac Gallery, we headed over to Trader Joe's for a nice stock-up trip, then my dad dropped me off for sign-in and orientation and went back to deal with the computer.

I ran into almost all the yogis that know here after meeting a few new ones in line for sign-in. Basically we waited in line to give our name, get our lunch voucher, our Anatomy coloring book and BYTT binder. After that I had some time to kill, so I sat and read a little bit of the binder while giving Max the update.

The yoga room/tent is massive. It's the biggest one they have had yet. There are about 13 million heaters outside this thing. It's insane. It can fit 700 people and since we're 2 hours from L.A. it is feasible that we could have that many people here with visiting teachers, students and trainees. What?

At 3pm we sat in the auditorium outside the yoga room for a lovely introduction to Rajashree, the staff, Jim Kallett and Lynn Whitlow. Everyone's message was so wonderfully positive. Rajashree started off by telling us that as nervous as we are about how we will make it through, they all feel the same thing. To take it EASY, drink lots of water, enjoy our experience and ride the ups and down of this journey. Everyone always mentions how lovely Rajashree is and she didn't disappoint. She is graceful and delightful. We were told to be back at 10am tomorrow (no am yoga class), so it's a pretty easy first day.

After the orientation was over, I called my dad to pick me up and he tells me that the computer still isn't working. Crushed, I call the store where we bought the OS and they tell me to bring the computer to see if they can figure out why it isn't working. When we arrive and I plunk down the ancient G3 the salesperson looks at me with utter dismay and says that we'll just have to get our money back. This is my lowest low. The reason I need a computer is to keep in touch with Sadie via Skype so she doesn't forget who I am (kidding. sort of) and seeing my dillema this angel of a man decides to LOAN me a BRAND NEW iMac for the duration of my stay. Did I mention it is BRAND NEW?

Like everything else in preparation for this training, I am shown, once again, that I am completely taken care of, that this dream of mine is completely supported by the forces of the universe and that all I have to do is to show up for this amazing journey, stay present (thank you Lynn) and enjoy every moment.

5 Days

Honestly, it's surreal. In three days I will be getting on a plane to Los Angeles. I'll spend a few days with my family and friends before driving out to the Desert on Sunday morning. Hopefully we'll get there early enough to hit the grocery store and get things settled (unpacked, etc.) before orientation starts at 3pm. We don't have a yoga class until Monday afternoon, but I'm sure we'll have more lectures, overview, etc. Monday morning.

It's really happening. This goal that I have set for myself is really coming to pass. In 5 days I will stand with 200-300 other yogis and start the first of our 99 classes in 11 weeks with Pranayama- Deep Breathing (good for the lungs and respiratory system). Crazy.

I'm partially packed, I only have a few more to do's...it's really happening. I am going to Teacher Training. IN 5 DAYS!

Why Bikram?

People ask me this a lot. "Why can't you just do another training that is easier/closer/less time consuming/cheaper/etc.?" If you haven't tried Bikram you are likely to ask me that, if you have tried it, you know that no other form of yoga will do. From the moment I set foot in the torture chamber in Brooklyn Heights I knew I had found a style of yoga that I would practice for a lifetime. I knew almost instantly that I would go to Teacher Training, the culmination of that intention coming to pass in TWENTY DAYS is so overwhelming and delightful, I can hardly stand it. In fact, the idea that this goal of mine is being realized that soon makes me alternately thrilled and terrified (as mentioned in the post below). The last few days I've been on the thrilled side of things. Mentally (and physically) preparing, making lists, practicing, learning dialogue...getting READY. I have been getting some awesome advice from currently certified teachers about TT, here are a few nuggets:

"The program is entirely by design. It's designed to make you a little crazy. Go with it."
"Don't push yourself too hard in the beginning. The people who did that were absolutely dead by the end."
"Immerse yourself in the process, take this time for yourself, it will never be again!"
"Learn the dialogue!"

So, why Bikram Yoga and not some other form? Well, the heat for one. The heat does amazing things for your practice and enables you to safely stretch without worrying about injury. The entire series is tremendously safe. The postures themselves are not advanced, but you can take them to their full expression depending on your body that day. Every day is different, even though the postures are the same. I find that astounding. It's such a learning experience. You learn what to eat, when to eat, how much water to drink, how much sleep you need, how much stress effects you mentally and physically. It's truly like peering into the looking glass of your body, mind and spirit every day you practice. You see where you are at. Having a tough class? What did you eat last? How much sleep did you get? Are you stressed? Are you tired? Are you angry? It's fascinating and it never gets old. Or it hasn't for me in 7 years anyway. It's a reset button. It brings you back to square one. A very sweaty square one :)

Wait. What?

I leave for CA in three weeks. Three. I was playing with Sadie after her bath tonight and just started crying. I tried to just keep it inside, but tears were welling up in my eyes and spilling down my cheeks and Sadie said "why are you sad?". How do I answer that? I want her to have a positive association with me going to TT and I don't want her to know how anxious I am about leaving her, so I just said "I'm not sad, I'm happy". Ultimately, it's the truth. I am so happy that I am getting closer to my goal. Some days I just swell with gratitude as I visualize my life as a Bikram Yoga instructor and studio owner. It's so close and such a clear vision in my mind's eye and when I get a glimpse of my new life I am humbled. Ultimately, I am doing this to arrange my life around her, to be more present for her, to model a successful and fulfilled woman for her and to make health and wellness a part of her life forever.

That doesn't mean I won't be an absolute mess without her for 5 weeks.

I have been getting such great advice from teachers about TT. Here are a few choice nuggets:

"Enjoy Yourself" (novel concept)
"The whole program is by design. It is designed to make you a little crazy. Go with it."
"Get everything you can from Bikram. You aren't there to make friends, you are there to get your certificate and to learn everything you can from him."
"Don't try to impress the instructors with your practice, just do what you can to survive in the room"
"You will never be in a situation like training ever again. Immerse yourself in it."